He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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