SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
