What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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