so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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