Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
