Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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