So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize