My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it glows. i had to have it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize