Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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