My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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