I'm lost and stupid without you.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
