I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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