So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
