Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
