I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
