are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
