Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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