Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
