Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize