Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were trust falling into bushes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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