I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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