): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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