So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
