I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
