Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
