Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
