I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
