How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
