Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
