my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
