I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
