how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
