Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
