Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
