you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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