Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
