how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
