you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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