Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
