i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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