i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
