dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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