good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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