it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
