So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
