The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
