eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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