I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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