Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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