So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
