I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you traded sex for a burrito?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
