he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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