i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
