Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
