HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
