Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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