carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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