**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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