Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize